This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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