I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize