She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
