Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
