There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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