ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize