I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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