none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
