Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
PANTIES FOUND
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