when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
