They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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