Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
