Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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