nut hugger
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
