I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
