Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
