is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
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