I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
