Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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