It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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