Duck Duck Cougar?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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