I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize