Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
