This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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