i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
