i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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