the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize