It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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