Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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