She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
