booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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