a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
