what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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