my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
