and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
