I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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