im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
