i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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