I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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