i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
