i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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