But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
There's always time for handjobs
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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