If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
bring money and cleavage
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
As shirtless as possible
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
