go do what you do best...puke behind churches
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
