last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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