At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i wish my penis had a tongue
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
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