Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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