Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
