Already got asked if we're dating
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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