His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He shit in the fireplace
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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