lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
