If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
