is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he fucked my hip out of place.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
