You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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