she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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