Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize