I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
