Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize