shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
