guys are only as good as the porn they watch
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
