I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
