Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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