Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Did I show you my penis last night?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
