I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
