After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
