yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
