4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
